Twenty years ago, Jennifer Lopez was three days away from tying the knot with Ben Affleck when she pulled the plug. She tells Zane Lowe in an in-depth Apple Music interview about her new album/movie “This Is Me…Now” that she knew she wanted to spend her life with him back in 2004, but got scared that they wouldn’t make it.

So they both moved on to other marriages and relationships, and she said it wasn’t until they both settled into the idea that they were ok with being alone that they found their way back to each other.

The Amazon Prime Video movie is out now inspired by her personal journey to find love that lasts.